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What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

12.06.2025 19:13

What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

My ex got into a relationship within 2 weeks after a breakup. What should I do?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How is sex in college like with roommates and big campuses?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Make Nazis afraid again!

How many wishes do people get on their birthday?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Are you afraid to get married and why?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do wives cheat on their loyal husbands?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.